Rethinking the Whole Resolutions Thing
- Article previously published in the Hudson Valley Pilot – see link below
At this point in the month, many of us have filled our heads and our calendars with goals and intentions, full of the promise of new habits. The great majority of these will be fueled by a desire to be more healthy – a new diet or exercise regime, a desire to cut back or give up an unhealthy behavior or toxic substance, or a wish to connect more with others either personally, professionally or charitably. In my case, a perpetual resolution I keep coming back to is “to declutter my life.” While I am not a hoarder, I have a hard time just throwing things away, preferring instead to repurpose items that I have outgrown, by utilizing them in a new way, or just pass them on to someone else who can give them new life.
Research shows that although more than 55% of people make some type of New Year’s resolution, less than 10% will be successful in making the desired change a habit. What drives this desire for change at the beginning of a new year, and how do we turn the desire for a new behavior into regular action that doesn’t require so much tiresome conscious thought?
The idea of making New Year’s resolutions can be traced back to the ancient Babylonians, who made promises at the beginning of their planting season to repay their debts and return borrowed items. When the Romans created our calendar they moved the practice to the beginning of the year to honor the god Janus, a two-faced deity who symbolically looked back to the previous year and forward to the future. In contemporary times the practice of making New Year’s resolutions is hardly religious in nature, but is seen as a way for people to reflect on the past year and set goals for themselves in the year to come. A study published in PLOS (Public Library of Science) in Dec 2020, reported the five most popular resolutions among the participants in the study concerned physical health (33%), weight loss (20%), desire to change one’s eating habits (13%), personal growth (9%) and mental health/sleep (5%).
Many of us dive right into these new habits on Jan 1, only to realize the
shame of lapse and disappointment. . In my case, the clutter grows as I accumulate more well-intentioned, but unfinished projects that only add to my stress. Why are well-intentioned change-seekers not more successful in achieving the desired habits? In a 2014 report, 35% of participants who failed to keep their New Year’s resolutions admitted they had unrealistic goals, 33% of participants did not keep track of their progress, and 23% forgot about them; the remaining respondents claimed they made too many resolutions.
Faced with these daunting statistics, it is easy to see why people often throw in the towel…. So how do we remain realistic and turn these resolutions into habits that stick?
Set SMART goals
It’s important to set goals that are SMART; this can increase your chances of success by ensuring that your goals are well-defined, actionable, and achievable:
Specific: A specific goal is clear and focused and addresses a specific area for improvement.
Measurable: A measurable goal includes quantifiable benchmarks for tracking progress and determining success.
Achievable: An achievable goal is realistic and can be realistically attained given the available resources and constraints.
Relevant: A relevant goal is aligned with your values and long-term objectives, and is worth pursuing.
Time-bound: A time-bound goal has a specific timeline for completion, which helps to create a sense of urgency and accountability.
Using this framework for any new goal can help keep you motivated and on track, and can also help increase your confidence and sense of accomplishment as you work towards making this goal a habit.
According to research, the length of time to create a new habit depends on the specific behavior being changed and the individual’s circumstances, factoring in things such as the complexity of the behavior, the individual’s motivation and commitment to the change, and the level of support and resources available. Broadly defined goals such as giving up junk food sound great, but can be unrealistic, and be a set-up for failure. Smaller changes are significantly less glamorous, but reliably easier to stick to and can have a significant impact on an individual’s life over time as they allow us to build on our successes. Instead of vowing never to eat junk food again, a SMART goal would be to change the after dinner salty snacks to 1/2 cup of berries for the next two weeks. Once this is well established, success can lead to even more positive changes.
What about the lapse?
Of course it is important to note that the process of forming a new habit is not always a linear one, and it is normal to experience setbacks or lapses along the way. The key is to plan for these lapses, recognize them for what they are, and be persistent and consistent in your efforts to make the change, leaving room to be kind to yourself if you encounter setbacks. Carol Dweck, a psychology professor at Stanford, has done extensive neuroscience research and is known for her work on motivation. She posits that having a growth mindset can be instrumental to success, as it allows for resilience in the face of setbacks. People with a growth mindset tend to view challenges and setbacks as opportunities for learning and growth, rather than as personal failures. They are more likely to persevere in the face of challenges, to embrace new learning opportunities, and be more open to feedback and criticism as ways to improve rather than as a threat to their self-esteem.
As I walk through my house, looking around at the papers and magazines accumulating on the kitchen counter, the piles of old linens brought down from the attic that no one will likely ever use again (but could make really nice pillows), and the remaining unpacked boxes from a previous home renovation project, it is easy to feel overwhelmed! But instead of vowing to “declutter my life,” this year I have decided to just clean out my home office by the end of the month, breaking it down weekly into bite-sized goals, one of which consists only of cleaning off the desk. I am ever hopeful; at least I will have space to get to my sewing machine and make those pillows!
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