Curiosity is my new Superpower

I have spent my life working hard, attempting to balance the stress of a busy professional life with trying to raise 3 good humans of my own, while at the same time nurturing my relationship with my husband.  This hard work has brought me great success, but  left very little time for myself.

People would often say to me, “you’re a supermom”, I guess because I always seemed to keep things in balance?  And to keep this illusion of balance,  I became  a consummate multi-tasker, always managing to keep the balls in the air. I always assumed that was my super-power.  

But there is a video of my kids, I think made for my 40th birthday, or maybe for the baby shower for the birth of my 3rd child in 2013.  Either way, my son is about 6 or so, and my middle daughter is probably 2 ish, and with their adorable voices they sweetly and innocently speak about their favorite things about their mom. 

It is heartwarming, as only a video of your kids talking about you can be, and made me cry.  But the deep dark secret I have kept all these years is that I cried because what they said made me sad.  When asked “what does Mom like to do?”, their answer was “well she works a lot, so that must be what she likes best”.

And while it was completely true at the time, I did work a lot, and I really did like it, I realized at that moment that there wasn’t much else for them to give as an answer because even I didn’t know at that time what I liked doing.  

I have always been amazed by my husband, a man of a million hobbies and talents, curious about everything.  However, I, on the other hand, only felt comfortable when I stayed in my lane, doing what I knew I was good at, making sure I never dropped a ball.  While there is nothing wrong with excelling at anything, I realize now that I was short-changing myself all those years, and that was a setup for things to start crumbling. 

Why is being curious so hard?  Is it because it takes work to find the answers, or because in asking questions we admit we don’t know something and expose our vulnerability?  The supposed dangers of curiosity are woven into the fabric of our up-bringing, going all the way back to the old testament of the bible.  We see the terrible price Adam & Eve pay for succumbing to the temptation to eat of the Tree of Knowledge as the price paid for ‘wanting to know’. 

And then there was the cat.  We’ve all heard that phrase, as if curiosity was actually dangerous.  I suppose if it leads you to climb trees, or leap across open spaces from one ledge to the next there could be a granule of truth in the saying.  But for most of us, curiosity is far more tame. So why do we societally undervalue it?  

After 25 years building my career as an ob gyn, having to give that up has been extremely challenging, as it has forced me to explore who else I really am?  My whole life I planned for success under the best circumstances, but deep down I see that consistency is the playground of a dull mind. 

I am realizing that in order to move anything forward, some amount of turmoil is necessary.  Out of discomfort comes creativity, because it creates the need for change.  And I am realizing that curiosity really is my new super-power, as it is only the curious who have room to grow.

Curiosity disrupts judgment and prejudice; it enhances learning; it creates inroads for community building; and it motivates us to persist when we feel discouraged. Curiosity ushers in humility by reminding us how much there is to learn, and requires that I show up with authenticity and courage in my relationships.

Curiosity is allowing me to really face that question my kids tried to answer about me over a decade ago. I am in the process of discovering so much more about myself, and what else I am really capable of, like this blog.  I never heard of a widget or a plugin before building this site. And I never wrote anything other than medical notes or a quick birthday card message for the last 30+ years, so this is an entirely new journey for me.  

If you decide to take this journey with me, together we will explore topics related to parenting, the benefits of self care, healthy eating, and what is good for our bodies as women aging through life. I am not planning to tell you what to do with yours, or try to sell you anything – just share what I am learning along the way.

So I ask you to be curious with me, and allow yourself to explore something new, and create room for growth and change in your life.